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Saturday, June 16, 2007
Time flies, & I hab yet tuh find someone tuh tok tuh.
Perhaps, dis iish e place whereby I ken reallie pour everything out once.
Sighs.
Jus let miie start from e very, very start bahs. =)
After two months of strugglings & sufferings, he finally returned back tuh miie.
Obviously, I was feelin sho happy & jumpin over e moon larhhs!
I told myself, I mus reallie treasure him & love him wholeheartedly.
I even told myself tad I mus changed & make up my mistakes in e past.
Well, I did my part as his girlfwens, by doin e riites things.
I accompanied him almost everydaes.
I sacrificed most of my personal tym accompanyin him.
Jus lyk goin out wiib his gud fwens's house & FunLand & etc.
But as e tym passed, everything changed!
All he knoe iish jus his FWENS ; GAMIN ; WORK!
Nothing abt miie at all!
As a result, I started tuh lose my temper & attitude lerhhs.
& quarrels start tuh get into our waes.
Ferhs once, he raised his voice & shouted at miie.
Tad was e first tym ever.
I tot I was reallie in e fault & I made e first step by apologisin tuh him.
Even after tad, he neber even apologised ferhs shoutin at miie lorhhs.
Nevermiinds. I keep quiet & I bear wiib it.
Dere was once I wen tuh tel his ex abt our quarrel's issue.
Okays, I ken understand tad he dunch lyk it.
& again he was angry at miie & completely ignored miie ferhs three daes.
Tad's was partly my fault, I apologised.
He was sho damn egotistic larhhs, I still bear wiib it.
After tad three daes, he initiate tuh meet up.
Well, I agreed & we headed tuh Chilli's house.
WTH.
All along, he neber even open his golden mouth lorhhs.
I was jus followin him behind, as if I'm his dog liddat!
Finally, I cun stand & I messaged him: Wait til euu wanna break wiib miie, den euu message miie.
Fair enough, he neber reply miie at tad point of tad.
He tried tuh tapped miie, but I ignored & I walked straight up tuh Chilli's house.
He ji tao jus sat behind tad BITCH & was sho damn happy larhhs.
I walked awae & neber tok tuh him.
Den e group of us wen tuh CC as dey wanna play basketball.
As usual he ignored miie & continue his flirtin wiib tad BITCH larhhs.
I diam diam.
Jus before I reallie erupt, I shouted at him.
I shouted: Break den break, I dunch care!
I supposed he heard.
He was feelin abit moody after I said tad sentence.
While Rong was walkin miie tuh interchange, HYing & him suddenly was behind us larhhs.
& he claimed tad euu gorts things tuh tel miie.
Since he initiate tad tok, I jus jolly well followed him & sat down.
He wasted my forty-five minutes by sittin next tuh him & see him teared.
Despite of askin him nicely wad happen & etc, he jus refused tuh sae anithini larhhs.
Nevermiinds again.
Wen he was abt tuh leave, I held back his hand.
HE SHOOK AWAE MY HAND twice & walked awae!
& tad feelin was sho damn hurt!!!
I wen back after tad, tiinkin he would followed up, but he neber.
I sent him messages late at niite, in returned, he col miie back & shouted at miie again.
& tad marks end of everything.
& in between, tad fuckin bitch came in & messed up everything!
Nevermiinds.
I dunch wan sae abt tad bitch.
Sighs!
Everything seems so blur to me.
Everything changed completely, that's include me & you.
There wasn't any compromises.
There wasn't any sense of secure.
For only you think that I was still that stubborn & didn't compromise.
But did you actually calm yourself down & think it through?
I even made the very first by apologising to you when you shouted at me.
How much sacrifices I have made ever since we patched?
How much time I have spent with you & with my friends & my family?
How much scoldings I have received by my parents for returning home late & etc?
For how long must I tolerate all these?
For how long must I endure all this by myself?
When will you feel my tears?
When will you hear my crying every now and then?
When will you stop ur cold treatments?
I wouldn't deny that I still love you alot.
But you are trying to push me aside & make me set you free.
Every single of your words and actions hurt me so deep.
You should know what promises you made to me.
And yet you broke one after another.
You left me once, I can accept that.
You left me twice, how the hell am I going to accept it?
You said you are not going to leave me, stayed by my side & etc.
Are all these empty promises?
I'm really feared of those hurt!
Perhaps, this will really be the last time we will be together.
I don't want to get anymore hurt from you.
Enough.
Both parties are in fault now.
Your attitude & temper simply sucks & as well as mine too.
I seriously hope both of us will take time to calm down first before making any further decision.
I LOVE YOU, YJH.
Expect the Unexpected
9:55:00 am
9:55:00 am